Pittsfield, Michigan
June 11, 1865
Dear Parents Brothers and Sisters,
Believe it Mother how could I believe the only one that ever loved or cared for me was dead. Gone never to return again but at last I am forced to believe that he is no more. It came so unexpected for the last I heard of him he was getting better and then to have such dreadful words come it was more than I could bear I thought some one was imposing on me. But Mother he could not keep silent so long if he was living. Oh have I got to give him up. Oh such happy hours as we have spent together the few short eighteen months that we lived together was the happiest of my whole life, then he was torn from me by this cruel war. To go and suffer and die among strangers with no friend or loved one to smooth his dying pillow (a hard one at best) or cool his fevered brow. Oh what will become of his darling boy. Oh mother why was he not spared to us when we needed him so much. Why could he not have come home at least to die. Oh it was cruel hard that he could not see his boy when he wanted to so bad. But I cannot write today for I do not feel like it. He is gone and we cannot call him back. Oh how I wished I too might die but when I have become more reconciled I think I must live for my boy his darling pet.
He has gone to his rest let him sleep, Let him sleep in holy trust, Mortal ties we know must sever, This is but discarded dust, But the spirit lives forever, Lay him low! Lay him low! Pain or weariness or woe, Free from sin, he cannot know, Lay him
low!
Father I would like to have his funeral service preached the 18th day of this month one week from today at one o'clock. I will write to Uncle David to have it given out but I don't know as he will get it for I shall send it to Battle Creek and if you have time and can you had better go and see about it. I will write to Mate(?) I shall send the letter to Uncle David in care of Skinner(?) and have them send it out to them. I will leave it to you to get the minister for you of course know that I am not acquainted. Have the funeral at Pine Creek I shall be there next Saturday at least I shall start for there if I and the baby are well. We are both well now only I have got a large boil on my wrist right on the cords and it is very painful. But I must bring my letter to a close hoping this will find you all well I will sign myself your Daughter and Sister.
Mary E. Self
to Reason E. Self and family
[Additional notes on letter appear to be written by someone else to someone named Mate or Nate. Can't make out the writing.]
All meet at Uncle David's. I have got a black crape collar and bow for you to wear Mate (?) you need not borrow any shawls for us but if you could a couple of vails I would like it. Tell Joe whether you think you can or not be here by eight or half past if you can so as to go in the cool of the morning.

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